Visiting Adam

We were able to go back to Manassa this summer and we got to see Adam. 

Daniel and I took dinner to the cemetery the night we got there

We saw these solar lights on other grave sites and really liked them. So we got Adam some little lights so when his headstone is put in place he'll also have lights around it

There he is

This is just the cutest thing ever! We told Alex to say 'bye' to Adam and he kissed the ground to say 'bye' :'-) So sweet

Mom and dad saying goodbye for now...

 Alex with his brother

Bye Adam- we'll be back. We love you. We miss you. 

Evolution

I title this evolution because this is the story of how Alex evolves with almost every situation:

First actual life size horse ride. Very skeptical 

"Alright, daddy's got my back. I think I'm okay"

"THIS IS AWESOME!"

Dads first ride in a while (he didn't get off that horse for probably 3 hours)

Dad and Alex- He's not sure about this saddle thing

Ya... moms not more comforting

I love this evolution of the duck.......

"Alright. I see the duck. I've seen them in books. But now there is one right there..."

"Mom, this is a duck right?"

"Alright. Duck doesn't hate me. How you doin duck?"

"I'll try the more approachable method where I am not ready to bolt at a moments notice." 

"He's TOUCHING the duck?!?!?! Dang it- now I have to show him how I can be a man too...."

"Yeeeeaaaa, touching the duck"

" Ight- bring me another challenge. Please, duck was way too easy!"

Odds 'N Ends

Daniel has had a few weeks off so we have been partyin (more on that later)! Here is what our summer has been like so far:

Lovin the swing

Such a sweet lil boy

Hangin out with our cousins at the park!

Getting ready for fathers day

Riding on the Merry-go-Round with Uncle Johnny

First ride on a 'train' all by himself!

There's the train

Swimmin with our awesome friends!!

He needed both of his hands for something - but you can't let go of the glow stick! - so he problem solved by putting it in his pacifier and biting down on it until the task could was complete :-)

My brother went through the temple before he left on his mission! Here are the picture of all of the handsome men! 

Grandpa gave Alex four-wheeling gloves! So of course Alex wouldn't get off 

Some more hangin out with the cousins!

John threw the hat from across the room and Daniel caught it with his head with no hands! Pretty impressive if I do say so myself. Way to explore your talents Johnny bear :-D 

Hum.... what to do with goggles AND a fire hat? Wear them at the same time - kill two birds with one stone!!

We went to the  Cheyenne Mountain Zoo (thankfully it had not burned down) and all Alex wanted to see was the trucks :-)  

So just a glimpse into our summer. We have LOVED having daddy around, but are going to have to get back into the routine of rotations here pretty quick. Daniel flies to Pittsburg on tomorrow for the second step of his boards. Then we're going down to Manassa for the 24th of July celebration! And then it's back to rotations... Then Ohio for an interview. Then Biloxi MI for a month long audition rotation, then to Las Vegas for another audition rotation. THEN applying for residency! We have got a CRAZY next few months. Cross your fingers and wish us luck! :-) 

PS I can't get my videos to upload. Anyone know whats wrong? 

A Heart to Hold

We got home from my parents house a few days ago and when I got the mail there was a package waiting for us. I was confused because I didn't order anything. Daniel remained silent as I tried to figure out what it could possibly be. When I opened it there was a card addressed to "the parents of Adam Jacobs" - odd, I thought. The card continued that what was inside was made in memory of this womans twin grandkids who had passed away. I pulled out a heart. Again, I had no clue what was going on. The card explained that the heart weighed 6 lbs 13 oz - same weight as Adam. At first I was a little shocked and wasn't sure if I wanted it. It was hard enough dealing with the unbearable pain of not being able to hold my baby and now this was just going to make it more difficult. 

Come to find out- Daniel heard about this organization A Heart to Hold from his dad. It is a non-profit organization that makes these hearts in the weight of lost babies and sends them to the families so they can have something to hold. Something to help fill that void. The lady who started this had a very similar story to ours and it helped her a ton. 'What the heck?' - I thought 'lets give it a try'. Well come to find out I love this thing! I didn't put it down the rest of the day. I decided I wasn't going to make a conscious effort to 'take care' of it like a baby and thought I would just let what ever came come naturally. Meaning- if I left it somewhere then I wouldn't search for it. Or I would just carry it in what ever way my hands wanted. Daniel and I held it while making dinner, watching TV or doing homework, like it had always been there. I found myself holding it on my hip like you do a baby. Daniel held it on his chest - the same way he held Alex a lot. 

It is just surprising to me how much it helps. Again, one of the hardest parts of all of this is just that ache to hold Adam. While this doesn't move or make noise or require attention it helps my mind to hold something that weighed as much as Adam did. Maybe it's weird. Maybe it won't help. I don't know. All I know is that I find myself unconsciously holding it and my mind is calm. 

So here are the url addresses for the story and a way you can donate to this awesome cause. Its so great and really helps others who have lost their babies! 

"Our Favorite Birthday Cake"

My wonderful sister-in-law sent Alex the most adorable birthday present! Part of which was their families favorite birthday cake. And I tell you what, it was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!!! Its our new favorite birthday cake now. I need to get the recipe cuz it just might turn out to be my favorite 'any time of the year' cake. Which may turn out to be 'the worst thing that ever happened to my waist' cake.... Might be worth it :-) That's how delicious this cake was. 

Step 1: Put the dry ingredients that were sent in a bowl

Step 2: Add wet ingredients 

Step 3: Play "mirror the face" with Alex

Stir, Stir

Pose for the camera

Taste the spoils - just to make sure it's safe :-)

The best part of making a cake

Chocolate on the face

This is what happens when I begged him to smile

Adding the yummy decorations

And of course we had to light the candle and sing happy birthday again!

Who doesn't want to celebrate their birthday with yummy cake all month long?!